Day 30

So, here I am at the end of the month. I could talk about my regrets and all I haven't done that I wanted to do, but that's not helpful, now is it?
What I can talk about is a HUGE success for today! I didn't get the office cleaned out before Ross got home. Once we finally got the kids in bed we were talking about what he knew he needed to do to work on the family room, but that he didn't really want to do it. So I said, "Well, come here and help me out for a minute." I had the intention of doing no more than have him get me started on taking care of the blankets and books off the bookshelf like we had talked about. But, of course, and thankfully, we both just kept going! I sit in a newly arranged, clean office! And best of all, the treadmill is in here too! It's out of my bedroom. Everything fit better than we expected and I am thrilled about that. True that I have to actually use the treadmill now, but the fact that I can use it is enormous!
Tomorrow is the start of a new month and I am optimistic, especially after the success of tonight. It's after midnight now so I need to finally get to bed, but I'm a happy woman as I head for sleep.

Day 29

I talked to Ross today about rearranging the office. I know I keep talking about cleaning it getting it ready to do that, but I hadn't actually spoken to my husband about it until tonight. I think I've been a little afraid he'd just say there was NO way we could successfully rearrange in her because the space is so small. However, he was up for it and I'm am going to clear out and clean up what I can so we can get this place set up and get the treadmill out of the walkway in my bedroom!
I had a couple of good chats with my sister today. It's great to be at a stage where we're truly close. Our age difference has always been enough that we have been in different places most of our lives. We still are in many ways, but the married with kids thing is the same and its great to pick up the phone and chat. Love that Wendy.
We are also helping each other feel better about what we do as moms. We found out we'd read the same article in the Ensign talking about the lies that Satan has us believe about ourselves and the truths from the gospel that we need to replace them with. Good to hear.

Day 28...and Day 27

I remembered in bed last night that I hadn't written anything for today. Oh well. Yesterday was fine. I fasted, went to church, slept most of the afternoon because I was sick and loaded the dishwasher at the end of the day. Hooray me.
Today was okay. I'm not loving my moods lately. Beating up on myself is not fun and I'm tired of the adversary working so hard on me. However, the Lord is always mindful of what we need and it just happened that the Family Home Evening lesson out of our little book for week 39 was on GRATITUDE. So you know what happened next. I started remembering and realizing all the things I've been blessed with and even pulled out the hymn book and made Ross sing "Count Your Blessings" to the kids. He did the first verse with me and I kept going through the rest. Samantha helped me a little. It's good to acknowledge what we have instead of getting down about all that we lack. Not just physically, but in all areas of life. I'm going to remember that when the next "down and out" mood shows its face.

Day 26

Sneaking up on a month of this blog. I can't say that I've improved by leaps and bounds, but again, at least I'm keeping tabs on myself no matter what.
Ross and my dad worked on the family room today. It is now a lovely shade of blue. (Silver Dusk is the name. Not sure who comes up with paint names...) I took the kids out to my mom's house and did laundry and folded some clothes. It was busy and crazy and we were there all day, but it was good to get the room worked on. Sad that I missed out on the Relief Society dinner and broadcast. The broadcast was on at my parents' house, but the kids were noisy and we were getting dinner, so I only got a little out of it.
We're fasting tomorrow as a family that money will come in to pay off the guy my dad bought lots of land from (including our family transfer land) and so my goal is to do a good job on fasting.

Day 25

Fun times. Nervous breakdown all over the place while I was on the phone with my mother. I guess I probably needed it and I always hope that somehow getting it all out will help me push forward and not stay in the same place that caused me to fall apart.
I don't feel like a good wife or mother in the taking care of everyone department. I feel like I do the bare minimum and that's it. I'm struggling as usual. Of course my mom is ready and willing to help me figure a few things out now and I really hope I can take her up on that in the right way.

Day 24

Today was a different kind of day just because I went to a funeral. Again. This is the third one in about a month and a half. Today was harder because the young man was so...young. So I was up and dressed (after admittedly sleeping in until 7:30) and out of the house by 9:30. Clothes on and make-up and hair done early are always a good thing for me even if I have a specific reason for it. I'd like to be doing that every day, but hasn't happened so far.
Ross pulled the big wardrobe out of the storage room today allowing me to get some boxes of clothes out for Rebecca. It also will allow me to put some extra boxes in there. You know, boxes from the office that I've been talking about getting cleaned out for a while now? Progress, Janet, progress. It would be good if it could happen on a bigger scale. But I'll take what I can get. Pbbbbbbbbbllllllllllltttthhhhh. :o)

Day 23

Crazy that I had 6 kids here, all ages 5 and under, for 2 1/2 hours and I actually got come cleaning done! I decided it was because they all had someone to play with. Nothing is done still, but I did clean and that's good.
My problem is still feeling too lazy to want to really do anything productive if I don't have to. It's frustrating and pathetic. I'd rather snooze on the couch or read a book or mindlessly surf the web. I'm beating up on myself somewhat, I realize, but the need for change is still so THERE.
I talked to Ross again tonight about purchasing the stuff of FlyLady. He's for it, but I'm going to wait a few days to make sure we have money to cover it. Not that I think we don't, but it would be nice to have a little more padding in the account than there currently is. Look forward to having the stuff and pray that I put it to good use!

Day 22

Ross worked on the family room tonight sanding and sanding and sanding. I was upstairs working on the kitchen while he did that. It's too bad that it's always as bad as it is because it makes it really hard to finish the job. I put a big dent in it, even getting some gross food out of the refrigerator. Unfortunately, more to do in the morning. (And believe it or not, I loaded the dishwasher twice today!!!)
I also looked at the FlyLady website today and talked to Ross about purchasing the pre-made control journal and the stainless steel water bottle. Hopefully tomorrow I'll get those ordered. I say that a lot. "HOPEFULLY TOMORROW." Again, I need to make it "DID IT TODAY!" and then I'll be on my way. :o)

Day 21

Am I ever going to start changing my habits? I guess I just really like staying in my jammies until 11:00 AM. Oh well.
Ross and I got the kids to pick up the living room and some of the boys bedroom tonight. It's always good to get them to pick up their toys even if it's kind of a trial for us. I also worked on the kitchen, but didn't finish it, as usual. Maybe I should be more optimistic. Hooray for loading and unloading the dishwasher!
More tomorrow!

Day 20

I had a good Sabbath day today. Felt a renewed drive to "rescue" people and to give at least the few minutes of the sacrament time over to the Lord. (More than that really, but that's part of what we talked about in Relief Society.
My days are still not all they should be and my Sundays are something I want to improve because it seems no matter how hard I try or how good I think we are doing time-wise, we are still ALWAYS late! It's so frustrating. I even got church clothes laid out last night, but we still didn't make it on time. Grrrrrrrr. I'll need to get up earlier or write out a schedule or something.
We did have a nice day otherwise and I'm glad to be starting a new week with no mistakes in it, to paraphrase Miss Stacey from Anne of Green Gables.
Tomorrow, I POTTY TRAIN LUKE!

Day 19

Today...
Today...
What did I do today?
I had lots of stress from feeling overwhelmed by all I have to do and still be unsure how to get it all done. (If I really break it down, I know it's doable, but in the moment, I freak out.)
I also had some stress regarding my calling and how that's going. It's hard to work with other people sometimes, but I want to have a good attitude and do what I can even if I can't change anyone else.
Ross worked really hard on more mudding in the family room today. I so appreciate that. He also worked on the yard. He's a good man that way.
I did lots of laundry just because we really needed our lights and darks washed. Woo-hoo for me! Or something.
We also got some shopping done despite our low funds. Changes in our finances are so necessary!!!
Tomorrow is the Sabbath so I am hoping to get some good spiritual goals worked on. Sunday is so nice to have that renewal for the week. :o)

Day 18

Sometimes it hard when I realize I still need to sit down and write something on this blog at the end of the day. I'm stiff and sore for some reason and so ready to crawl into bed. However, in some small way I know this posting every day is helping me. Yes, it's hard to realize once again that I was lazy or too busy with other stuff to get anything done. I hate knowing that I'm still not working on establishing habits that I so desperately need and want to. Just the same, I am glad to take a look at my day no matter how it turned out. Most of the time, it just makes me want to be better. That's a constant for me, but I think I am many changes even though they are miniscule and not the leaps and bounds I wish they were.
Today, I got the kids up and off to the babysitter while Samantha and I went to her therapies.Ross and I made a good dinner and got the dishwasher loaded between us. And laundry on the bed folded. I also made a tiny dent in the messy office.
See? I feel better now. I did something. And that is better than nothing!

Day 17

After a restless night I had a busy day. Activity Days happened and there was lots of scrambling. Not in the worst way, thankfully, but I was definitely busy. My attitude needs to improve because I am just not feeling like I am working well in the calling. Circumstances ended up different than I expected and it's not going as smoothly as I had hoped. Oh well. More prayer about that I guess.
Tomorrow is Friday and I really want to work hard on cleaning the office to attempt to get the treadmill in here and OUT of my bedroom! That's the goal anyway.

Day 16

Interesting day. I felt like I was busy for the better part of it, but still not in the most productive way. Grr. Gotta start writing down a routine!!!
The biggest thing I accomplished today was working on my Activity Days stuff. I feel pretty good about the activity for tomorrow. I just need to review it and make sure I've got any and all materials I need. I also need to look into stuff for the Daddy/Daughter Date so that I can tell the sister I work with some ideas and not feel like an idiot with no input.
More reliance on the Lord is what I also realized today that I need in my life. It would help!!!
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Day 15

PROGRESS! I had to force myself to do it, but that's what it takes sometime, I guess. This morning I decided to sand down all the mud in the closet under the stairs. (Mudding and sanding are such hateful, tedious jobs!) Ross was glad and I was happy to help get our basement a tiny bit closer to done. While I realize it won't solve all our issues, it will help so many things in this house.
I also tried to work at least a tiny bit on my Activity Days responsibilities. So much more to do, but I did start.
I've been avoiding writing how my scripture study and exercise are going because they've been non-existent so there's been nothing to say. But even though I am taking itty-bitty baby steps, I'm happy to report something today!
Not much, but I did finally figure out how many pages per day I need to read in the Book of Mormon if I want to finish it before the end of the year. With 531 pages and 107 days left, starting tomorrow I'll need to read about 5 pages per day. So now I just need to plan a time to do that. I KNOW I can't do it right before bed. That's always a mess and I won't get it done. I'm going to have to plan to do it in the morning right after breakfast when the kids are watching cartoons. My biggest issue is getting something out of my scripture study. Guess I'll have to ask for advice and put it to prayer. :o)
Also, I chatted with Charity about her exercise and eating habits today. Helpful. I'm sure there's a ton more I need to ask her and others. The ironic thing is that Ross walked in the door from work as I was on Facebook with her and he gave me an exercise mat! I've been wanting one since we switched to hardwood flooring up in the living room where the TV currently is. And truly the fact that I didn't have one has been one of my excuses for not exercising. (The other being the treadmill isn't set up because it has no good place right now. Grr.)
As far as my house goes today, I just spent over an hour copying and pasting the FlyLady 31 Baby Steps into my Word programs so I could print it off. Which I did. I'm not sure how and when to attack this, but I need to. And want to.
It is nice to get to the end of the day and see my accomplishments. Again, I'll be happy to get the routines established. All of this goes hand in hand and I pray I can work at it and make these changes in my life and the life of my family.

Day 14

You could say that I had a productive day just because I pulled off a successful birthday party for Luke tonight! I felt like a good mommy when I got up and made chocolate chip pancakes (even though it meant I had to take Samantha to school) and I was happy that Ross was willing to take the boys to lunch at my suggestion. Unfortunately I did what I always do and didn't really get on things until crunch time when we were expecting people at any moment. Surprisingly we got a lot more done than usual, but Ry and Ken called and said they'd be late which was fine by me!
So getting to a point where my house is already clean and I'm just baking cupcakes and decorating my house is where I'd like to be. But despite my same old habits today, it was a good day too.

Day 13... and, uh, Day 12 too

So, I forgot to post anything last night. Odd because I was on the computer until almost 2:00 AM. I was working on my Relief Society lesson and I spaced my little "progress log". Oh well.
Saturday was productive in many ways because my mom and dad took the kids for the afternoon so that Ross and I could work on the basement. It's still way too far away from being done, but every little bit helps.
Today was good because it is the Sabbath. Oh, yes. I do need to improve how I spend my Sundays too, but I'm always glad to go to church. The kids were not too bad during Sacrament meeting either. Samantha and Logan are getting better all the time and even the little ones did pretty well today.
Tomorrow I will have a 3 year old again and so there's lots to do! Here's hoping for a successful day!!!

Day 11

I am going oh-so-slowly. I'd like to say, "Hmm. Oh well. ", but obviously that is not an option. Thanks to Samantha's OT appointment today I was dressed with my make-up done and that hasn't happened in a few days.
Other than that, it was another same old day where my old (or shall I say current) habits prevailed.
So the old habits keep winning battles, but I shall win the war!
(Thank you. Thank you. I specialize in cheese.)

Day 10

I don't feel well tonight so this will be short.
I worked on my kitchen today, but it is far from clean.
Still no success getting myself to read scriptures on my own or exercise.
Listened to a song today that I enjoy always, but felt applicable tonight. Lila McCann, "But I Will Be" seems to echo the way I feel. I'm so not there, but I'm working on it. If nothing else, this little log of my daily happenings is doing something for me. It's not the most fun to get to the end of the day and realize once again that I should have done more, but at least I'm acknowledging that to myself.
I still love me. :o)

Day 9

Let's see...
What did I do today? Ross made a deal with Logan that they could play video games if the living room was clean, so I headed that up with the kids tonight. I was so glad that they were so obedient!!! Granted, I promised brownies when the room was clean, but I've tried that tactic before and it doesn't usually work. Samantha cried at me at first for a few minutes, but I laid down the law, promised the brownies, and they kids did a great job. So even though I didn't work on the kitchen (AGAIN!!!) like I should have, I had a little triumph today teaching the kids to clean. Even Lukey helped. Now I can tell them they have to go "brownie fast" or something like that...
Still not a lot of headway in other areas. Sigh...
I'm going to be positive and say that tomorrow REALLY IS THE DAY!!!!
(Even if I don't get everything done....)

Day 8

At least doing this makes me feel good and guilty...or something.
I went to a funeral today and didn't really concentrate on the things I needed to do at home while I was here. Such is my habit. We did get temple recommend interviews tonight and that is something HUGE to check off the "to do" list.
I love my lazy mornings too much and it truly hampers the rest of my day. (I might as well not even write about all the things I didn't do today.) Again, getting a routine established is what I need!
Procrastination stinks.

Day 7

I'm not feeling too down tonight and that's good. It's Labor Day and I did get some house cleaning done. My biggest issue with house cleaning is routine. I can get things done, but there's no order to it. I got some kid clothes put away and Ross helped me wash, fold and put away whites (which is on my Laundry schedule for Monday, so that was big actually). I also unloaded and loaded the dishwasher again, but the kitchen isn't clean. I have GOT to start applying the FlyLady stuff! That's what will help!!!
No exercise today. Pbbbbblllllllth...
Forgot to schedule out the possibility of reading the Book of Mormon before the end of the year. Gotta get on that!
Again, routine in my day would really help all of this...

Day 6

Old habits die hard. Not my original thought, but applicable. We spent most of the day out of town as it is the Sabbath and we were in Great Falls for the blessing of my new nephew. So no, I didn't clean my kitchen today. It's waiting as always for me.
I did, however, read FlyLady stuff again and tried to feel a little more inspired by what it says there. So many of the things on that website really do simplify cleaning and organizing and are worth doing because they are not overwhelming things.
As soon as I'm done with this post I'm going to send a note to my sister-in-law Charity about exercising. She chatted with me a while ago, giving me the "You're 30 now" speech, as she called it. Not sure what she can tell me, but I do know she said she in better shape now than before and writing to her for a little advice will make me at least feel like I'm keeping exercise on my mind. (Yes, I do realize just thinking about it does my body no good!)
My spiritual life still needs a lot of help. The thought occurred to me today that I could possibly do this year what I should have done four years ago. President Hinckley challenged the church members at about the end of August to read the Book of Mormon before the years end. We had had a lot of craziness and trials going on that summer and Ross and I excused ourselves from that challenge. It's easy to make excuses. But because I've wanted to read the Book of Mormon as an individual, I thought this might be a good way to do it. Maybe not. Maybe I should take my time and study it more, but we'll see. I think I'll feel like I've truly accomplished something for myself either way.
Tomorrow I am going to make sure I get the blessing I've been needing for this process of change.
Time to stop feeling so lazy...

Day 5

My shiny sink seems to be going by the wayside! Whoops! Ross finished loading and started the dishwasher, but that's about it for the kitchen. Change is not easy.
My scripture reading has been non-existent as well on a personal level. I keep forgetting. I really need to make it a study time and so right before bed is not going to work. Obviously.
This post is sounding more pathetic by the moment. No exercise either, but it's gonna happen. Monday morning is Labor Day and I'm all over it!!!
Gotta get up soon. Gotta go to bed.

Day 4

Okay. Wow, am I not doing so well. Still no exercise. I'm going to have to just drag the treadmill out myself. Ross and I did look at exercise mats at Target again trying to decide if it is worth the money. He did point out that a lot of the exercises done on the 30 Day Shred dvd aren't actually done on the mat, so that helps. If I can get myself out of bed to do it that will be huge.
Forgot again last night to read scriptures on my own. I did take the family Book of Mormon into my sleeping Samantha tonight when we got back from our date and read one verse to her (fluttering eyes count as awake, right?).
We got the kids rooms picked up for the babysitter to come tonight. That is really a big thing. Mostly the upstairs is clean as we head into the weekend and that is a rarity for us.
I also read something on the FlyLady website like I think I was supposed to do today.
Productive weekend to come!

Day 3

I'm supposed to be doing the FLYLady stuff. That's been my plan now actually for about a year. And I still have a lot more to do to be successful at that program. I can and should write a lot more about it, but again it's later than it should be, so here's my day today.
I got dressed, hair done, make-up on, shoes worn. (Mostly thanks to my Activity Days responsibilities, but oh well. It's still progress.)
My sweet, wonderful, handsome husband Ross did the dishes again tonight, so in a manner of speaking, I shined my sink.
I realized tonight that I forgot to go read my Book of Mormon individually last night, so guess I'll be starting that over! Gonna have to ask advice of those who have an established habit.
Exercise is still not all it should be. Not happening at all. I talked to Ross again about the exercise mats, but it's so hard to decide if we should spend the $25.00 a pop for them.
We did work together for a good hour on what needs to be done to finish our basement. I'm glad about that. We've got a plan for Saturday regarding what we're buying and price checking and that's really huge. That basement has GOT to get DONE! It really seems to affect so many other things.
Tomorrow I want to clean up my Yahoo e-mail and take a good hard look at having a garage sale next weekend.
I also need to remind myself and Ross that I still need and want a blessing and Samantha also needs one for back to school. Relying on the Lord is the only way I'm going to make it in this process! Thank goodness!

Day 2

Slow day again with small steps.
Ross got the kitchen clean for us while I went to the store (with all 4 kids, silly me) looking for an exercise mat. No luck finding one, but oh well. At least I didn't completely ignore the fact that I need to exercise!
I'm planning on reading scriptures in few minutes when I get to my bed.
I also at least got my hair and make-up done for the day, although not until the end and not much. Tomorrow will be better. :o)

Day 1

Obviously, I'm going to need to do this earlier in the evening if I'm going to make any good changes. It's really late right now and going to bed at a good time will help me get up and going in the morning so I can exercise and do all these fabulous things I want to! So I'll put that on the list. GO TO BE EARLY. Got it. And now I move on.
Baby steps today. I spent a lot of time setting this blog up, but at least now I can just tweak it and it won't be so time consuming. Other than that during the day all my current bad habits continued. The biggest thing to work on in the day will probably be my house, I guess, and today I just did laundry sporadically because the kids are so out of clean clothes. I'm hoping to get up early to exercise and read scriptures either early morning or after the kids are in bed. I'll have to figure out what works best.
My tiny little effort in exercising was just to print out the "You are 30 now" speech Charity gave me in a chat. Silly, but I'm looking for inspiration anywhere I can get it.
I read the very first introduction page in the Book of Mormon. Not much, but I started! It will feel great to get through all the standard works someday.
As for my house, I stacked my dishes and cleaned and wiped out my kitchen sink. Ross was sweet enough to start the dishwasher and I am glad for his help.
The biggest thing I need from him now is a blessing to be able to continue in my efforts. Nice to have him around for that. ;o)

It begins...

And now for my disjointed thoughts:

Working hard or hardly working? I fall into the latter category so much more often than I want to. I can see the ways to help make my life better, but I'm always just thinking about them, telling myself I need to do this or that. My husband and I do that a lot with each other as well in things we both want to work on.

I want to take action now. I want to do and not just dream. The blessings and peace I'm seeking are there for the taking and I'm ready take them! Is that cheesy sounding enough for you?!

I'm blessed enough to have seen myself establish some habits, but those have been mostly for the benefit of the whole family. Today we celebrate one year of reading scriptures as a family and we've also had Family Home Evening for every week so far this year. It really does make me happy to see those accomplishments!

However, like most women, I have a tendency to overwhelm myself with the mountain of things I want to get done and be. I'm hoping that writing down what I'm doing and what I have done on a daily basis (and maybe by saying daily I am once again expecting too much of myself) that I can at least try and be accountable to myself and maybe track my progress. Perhaps I should have 3 separate blogs for exercising, cleaning my house, and working on my own spirituality and just pick one to work on for now, but then again 3 blogs to fuss over could just make things more complicated!

I guess I feel like all these things go hand in hand somehow in making me a better me. Just like me doing good things for myself will affect my marriage and family. My desire is to establish the habits and achieve the goals for myself that I can pass on to my family.

I've worried a lot about keeping my house clean and the fact that I don't do it. It just continually occurs to me that I can't just find a self-help program and follow it and truly find the most success and happiness possible if I'm not going to the Lord for help. And when I go to the Lord for help I know he expects me to do my part in keeping His commandments so that I can receive the blessing he wants to give me. It only makes sense then to take care of myself physically as well as spiritually, so I know I want to add the exercise into this too.

My rambling is really just for me and may not make sense to anyone else right now. I'm hoping that how I record things improves, but if it doesn't, oh well. My basic point is that I'm asking my Heavenly Father for help in developing my relationship with Him and that that will spill over in my efforts to organize my house and take care of my body. Or something like that...

So here I go!